I wanted to talk about something just a tad controversial today and before we do I want to backtrack about 10 years. When I had my advertising agency in our conference room we did courses. I've always loved education. One of the reasons why I do these videos for fun is because there is an expression of myself and knowledge that just has to be expressed. At that time, Facebook was going from a college platform to a social platform and business profiles were showing up. And business owners had no idea what to do with this. They were really worried about their reputation and what they might say, how they're going to say it, about posting. Which is kind of funny looking at today and how people are. I digress. Let's get to the message that my client sent me. 

"Good morning. In our next session can we discuss social media posting and the impact it can have on your business. I'm thinking of firing my insurance agent after seeing something they posted." 

I don't know about you, but since this pandemic started, I have lost so much respect for people. I'm talking about people who I held in high regard or people I felt like I wanted to get to know, now I have no interest in whatsoever. And it wasn't because of their opinion, it was how they handled their opinion, or the disrespect for others. Now, you have to figure out what your non-negotiables are in life, and one of my non-negotiables is respect for others. So for me, that's just a turn off completely from someone. Another interesting thing is when this all started, I did a little survey of my 10 best friends and out of my 10 best friends 9, get this, 9 of them had completely opposite views than me. You're talking about things on masks, vaccines, even political party, and it just really shocked me and I wonder: How can these be my best friends when our views and beliefs are so opposite? 

Well the reason why is we were there for each other as humans. You know, respectful of each other, we're there for each other, if different views came up we just kind of passed over it I guess. Well 2 years later, I did this study again but now with my 15 closest, because I've gained some more close relationships in my inner circle over this pandemic, and 13 out of my 15 are completely opposite views than me. So it really has nothing to do with opposite views, it really has to do with respect of others within these opposite views. Now I'm really curious with this client what happened, what was said because if it was something that landed on that disrespect and that is a non-negotiable for this client. then that might be a reason to say, "Okay, I can't work with his agent because I completely have lost respect for them." As you know, having that rapport and respect is very important in any type of relationship. Now, if it was just something that was said and they got triggered by it, then it's looking at what that triggering happened. So usually when you get triggered by something, the first thing you want to do is look at yourself and see what was it that you got triggered by, because it could be telling of you more than what the post said.  

Now going backwards to that class I did on Facebook, one of the things I had was a few slides and it said what you should post and what you shouldn't post, because that was on the biggest questions I got. On the shouldn't post, I said you want to follow the dinner party rules. I have a little bit of etiquette  background, and the dinner party rules are: You don't talk about sex, I know no fun, politics or religion. Now, get my me and my friends on a Friday night, all fair game. When you're talking to people you don't know in dinner party setting with strangers, it is a good idea to kind of watch those topics. We still do it in person, just some reason when you have that screen in front, people don't follow that as much. I think you really need to figure out where you are on the spectrum. 

If you're someone who's like I don't want to trigger anyone, I don't want to hurt anyone, I don't want to hurt my reputation. If you're in that space, then follow the dinner party rules, and when you post something, ask yourself does it fit one of these. Now if you're in the other side of the spectrum and you're like, "I don't give a damn!", then post. It's all about expression. If that's the expression of self you want in the world, then do it completely. Now, be aware, other people will too on the opposite side.    The part that bugs me is when someone says, "This is who I am! And this is this!" and then they get really mad when someone does it back to them. If that's your choice you pick, then acknowledge the people are doing it as well on the opposite side. You know, you can respect even with those completely opposite opinions. 

Now if you land in that middle, and you're like I want to be authentic but I also want to be careful, then there's a few things you can do. One is you can join groups. In the groups, you can do all your venting in that group. Now, this does put you in a silo with all the same opinion, and Facebook does that kind of anyway. Facebook's really good at showing you posts that are related to the post you posted and it's in the same opinion thread. What I do, especially during political seasons, is I will post on an opposite viewpoint just to mix the algorithm up some so I can get a better full view. But most people don't do that. Another thing you can do is you can segment your audiences off your post. So you can have certain people who see certain posts and certain people who see others. If you want to know how to do that, let me know, I'm happy to do a quick video on how to do that. That's the way you can make sure that you are doing your posts per your audience. You just have to make sure you remember to change it as you're posting. Other people will just make their profile private.  Which means that anything they post that they don't want private, they can make it public and then people on the outside can see it. But you have to be a friend of theirs to see most of their posts. You can do that if you're not friends with prospects, clients, referral partners, so some people do it that way.  

I know other people who have two totally different profiles, and one of them is a self-expression, kinda their avatar, and one is their business. I think that's a lot of work, and you can do that and there's ways you can quickly switch between profiles now with social media. You really just need to figure out what's going to work for you. If you haven't noticed already, I do more of a education, consulting way of talking and working with clients where we figure out where they're at, give options, and figure out the best option for them and I think you need to figure that out for you as well. Now an important piece is for you to think about what are your non-negotiables and follow those non-negotiables for others. So me, like I said my non-negotiable is treating people badly or being rude so when someone is that way it's harder for me to get over it. I can get over a difference of opinion, not in treatment of others. But that's me, you have to figure out  what that non-negotiable part is for you.   

I am a fight for what's right person and especially in parenting groups there has been times I have stepped into the fire I am known to be completely  fine stepping into the fire for something. Now it's stuff that I'm very passionate about, so picking your battles is also important. If it's something that you are so headstrong, like this is it, then step in that battle. Just know with every battle there's always some fallout. If you're going to do it, know what could come from it and just be okay with it. 

Another thing you want to think about is the fallout from posts you post from people who are commenting. I'll give an example of this. When it first kind of started, I did a post that was just kind of in the middle, mutual. But what happened was that my comments went haywire, like  completely haywire. And people were just being so rude to each other it was horrible. Well then a few weeks later I posted on a guy's post and his response to me was, "Blah blah blah you are the worst person I met this year!" I was like, "What!?" So I did some digging, and he had commented on two of my  posts and that was the first post I commented on his. We've never met, had any other interaction, never talked. So I engaged him and I had a conversation with him to figure out really what was there. What had happened was he was one of the people that was getting hit and he was getting triggered And they were triggering each other and arguing on my post.  Because I was the original poster, he attributed what was happening to me because it must have been my opinion because it was my post. Even though it wasn't, it just had some backlash to me. Just know that some of the residue from what people comment on your post can fall back on you. Just be cautious of that and what's going on in the comments on what you post. 

With all that being said this is something that is very personal to you. So really kind of look at, again, what are your non-negotiables, what triggers you, what might trigger other people and make a plan of attack and give yourself your own little guidelines that you can double-check yourself when you're posting and if there is any fallout from that, you're okay with it because you made that choice. It is all about choice.