We're going to talk today about one to ones. So a one to one is a "Get to know you" meeting and why they call it one to ones because it's one person to one person. So when I say one to ones, all I mean is 'get to know your meetings,' and I want to talk today about how to pick the one-to-ones how you can structure them a little bit, and we're also going to talk about what type of one-to-one meetings there are and how do you know when to eject. Oh, run as fast as you can away from one! So one to ones, when I started a networking 20 years ago, was all about go meeting at a coffee shop,   meeting for lunch, going to their office - it was always like this face-to-face. Now, one-to-ones can be done over zoom And I love it! Because I can wear my fuzzy socks, I can get my coffee, not pay crazy high prices for it and I love it! And to me it's a lot more effective. You can also do one-to-ones on a phone. Now, I am not as much a fan of the phone because you can't read the body language and see what they're doing. Also sometimes people will distract themselves and do something else while they're on the phone so on video you actually get to to see them. So I do suggest doing a in person or a video one-to-one. You get to know people after you create a relationship, you do checking calls on phone. I do have clients who take these tools and they do it on phone one to ones and that's fine as well. Just know that you're missing that piece and it sometimes takes a little bit longer.

So with one to ones I believe there're four different types of one-to-ones and a lot of times you don't know what it is until you get into it. And we're going to talk about that in a second. I also think that one-to-one should be at least one hour long. Now, my one-to-ones were usually an  hour and a half because I like giving people time. I do. I was raised by a mother who has a quality time love language. So I like to make sure I give people that quality time. And that's the same with one-to-ones or my consulting clients or whatever it is. So with at least an hour, if it's less than that. I think that it's a speed one-to-one. And 'how you can optimize doing speed networking and set your schedule up that way is in another video. If you're interested in that, let me know and I can do that. Why I say an hour is that if you have 15 minutes of catch up, how are you, how is family, the weather is super cold, whatever it is. You need that 15 minutes and you have 15 minutes of closing. You need to have that closing follow-up time because that's your next action time. So we send another meeting, are we doing a phone call, am I referring you to someone, am I sending you that book or article we talked about. So having that time if you do that, that only gives you 15 minutes each to talk about your business. So that's why I say you at least need that hour. I usually do an hour and a half. I did my schedule where I had one to one set every even hour. And how you can optimize your schedule for get to know you meetings is in another video. If you're interested in that let me know, I'm happy to do it. I love schedule optimization 100%. But if you have this time, you know, set aside for someone to get to know them. You want to pick people that  could be a really good benefit for you. It is okay to say no to a one-to-one. It's okay to be like "Man, that is not gonna be worth it for me." Now, you don't want to tell that to the person to be like "I'm never ever going to use you, your stuff is crap" And you can kind of move around it. So you can do that by either doing them in speed one to ones which I said I can do a video on it if you want. You can do it in group one to ones where you have a lunch, you have multiple people and you all kind of share and talk. You can do it over a time that, you know, you're gonna be driving so you can listen to their spill, you can value them without being rude to them. But no, don't say yes to a one-to-one that doesn't work for you and working for you is someone who you think can be your client, you can be their client, you can be referral partners. So if you look at their business you're like "I'm not a client I can't easily refer you, you can't easily  refer me, you're not my client," then I would suggest not doing that one-to-one. Now, if you figure out  like "Yeah, I think this is someone who could be a good fit for me and I'm gonna give them  an hour to two hours of my time." When you're in that one to one you'll find that it's probably one of four things were happen and this, I've never shared this before publicly. This is something I've shared with clients for   over probably 20 years, it took probably 15 by time I really got to see this happen. I've not found a situation that has gone outside of these norms.

So when you're in a one-to-one, one thing does happen. Either one it's a shut up and listen meaning  and I know that sounds super harsh, we're gonna get into that. One is referral meeting, a sales meeting or buys meeting. And like I said, you really don't know what it's gonna be until you're usually sitting in front of them. And I've had ones I thought one thing and they turn into another. So don't go in putting constraints on this meeting, just know it's going to end up one of these four. The first one is shut up and listen. This is a meeting where the person is so busy talking about themselves and their business that they don't ask you who you are or what you do. I'm a big believer that you do not say what you do or force it in. If they are so busy talking about themselves what it tells me is that they're always too busy talking about themselves. If they're always too busy talking about themselves they're never going to have the chance to really listen. And it's within the listening of others that you find their pain point and you can refer them. One of the reasons I'm such a good person at referring others to others is because I'm listening for what they're struggling with and then I know who can make an impact. But if you're not listening you won't hear it so if they're not listening, if they're not asking, if they're not really inquiring there's no way that they're doing that with others and there's not going to have a chance to refer you. So the best thing you can do for your  time and your money is to shut up and listen. And then when they're done you say "that's so awesome, I like" and put in something you like that they said "I can't wait to see you at the next networking  event or "I wish you really good luck with that" you know, or "Hey, I'm gonna run, I got  something, I gotta do before this next meeting." Something because it's not worth any more of your time to sit there. You can say "I have a text I need to answer on email." I always have a text or email I can answer so that one works good too. Do not force someone ever to hear about your business because they don't care. And that's okay, it's nothing bad  against them. Now, if you're listening to this and you're like "Man, yeah, that meeting" "I really don't remember what they did" You might be that person that is constantly talking about your business. And it's good to learn to ask someone about them and what did they do.

The second type of meeting is a referral meeting. A referral meeting is one that you're in you're like "Oh my goodness", like "I'm looking for you, you can refer me." So that should become a strategy meeting. And by strategy meaning it is: Okay, When someone says this, I want you to say this. You need to spell it out for your referral partners. They are so busy with their own thing, they're already in the midst of it so you really need to give them a situation and verbiage to use, so for example for me I say when someone says I have so many ideas and I have no idea where to start. You say: You talk to Rachel. Or when someone says "I want to grow and I just don't know" "what's there that's not letting us get to that point" It's time to talk to Rachel. Or, you know, "I have big plans but I'm not sure the first step." It's time to talk to Rachel. So teaching them and giving them that verbiage when someone says: I love this house but i really hate this basement. It's time to talk to my contractor. You know, so but the thing is that the real estate agent might not think about that unless you plant in their brain a situation and then how they need to refer you. You say - just send a text message! You tell them exactly the best way to refer: send an email, you know, text  me their information, I'll reach out. Lay it all out. Make it so simple for people to refer you and they will. Make it hard and they won't.

So first meeting is to shut up and listen because they don't really care. Two is referral meeeting and I'm gonna back up they might care, they just might not be trained enough to really to be in that listening mode for others yet. Because it is a personal development space. So shut up and listen, referral. Third one is buying. I have been in meetings where I've been like "Oh my goodness, I need what you do." So there's been one-to-one meetings that I have realized that I'm the buyer. And then I start asking them questions and I start getting into what they want I need and what they sell and how do we do it. That's fine. The third one is that you become sales mode. I have been in meetings that have, I thought, were just going to be a 'get to know you' meeting. And then suddenly I realized that they want to work with me. You know, because I don't go in just assuming everyone does because I have a very specific clientele that I like to work with. And they have to be ready so I usually don't know if someone's ready until conversation  starts popping up. So there has been times I've been in meetings and I'm like "Oh my gosh, this is a sell meeting." At that time pivot into sells. So I'm going to recap because I don't know how these 10 minutes go so fast but they do. When you make sure that you have  networking meetings with people that are going to be good referral partners to clients for you. Pivot in the meeting, figure out if it says shut up and listen, if it's a referral meeting and then you go into strategy. if it's a buying meeting then you start buying or sells me yourself, and the last thing is always have a follow-up. Always have a next step and make sure you follow that step because that's how you move from visibility with them to credibility, to profitability, to know, like and trust. And that is the whole reason of networking and one  to ones is to move people through that pathway.